“Grateful living is important in the world because in our constant pursuit of more and better we lose sight of the riches that lay in front of us and within us.” - Guri Mehta
I would like to say that we all practice gratitude on a daily and even moment to moment basis. I know that we get caught up in the hustle of everyday life and all too often, gratitude manages to escape us. It seems cliche to write about gratitude on Thanksgiving Day, but here I am doing just that.
I am grateful that earlier this week I had one of those “I can’t” days and one of my dearest friends, Kelly, insisted that I could. I learned so much about gratitude and safety that day.
We ventured out and arrived at our destination. Kelly gave me her arm to steady myself and told me to watch my steps because the brick road we were walking on was uneven. Two steps later, I hit the ground.
I am grateful that the look of sheer panic on my face did not scare Kelly. She was not rattled at the thought that we were never going to get me off of the ground without help. Together, we knew we were safe.
I am grateful for the stranger that was walking out of the restaurant. He had the beautiful heart to run towards us. His footsteps made me feel safe.
Together they got me up and out of the middle of the road. Neither one of them knew this, but as they lifted me physically; they lifted my spirits as well. A best friend on one side and a stranger on the other - what could be more beautiful than witnessing the love of a friend and the compassionate heart of a perfect stranger simultaneously. Pure safety and again, gratitude.
Shortly after my rise but before the tears stopped there was a looming question - Do we tough it out or do we head to urgent care? Due to the fact that I have compromised feeling in my feet, I insisted on ordering dinner and allowing time to reevaluate the status of my injury.
As the swelling increased and I repeated the statement "I want my mom", Kelly made the decision; we were heading to Port Orange Centra Care.
I am grateful for the kind hearts of the nurses at urgent care. Generally, an urgent care center isn’t happy to see someone that walks in just before closing. This was not the case at Port Orange Centra Care. I was met at the front door with a wheelchair, I was told by a staff member not to worry because she wouldn’t let me fall. Again, I was safe.
Nicole Lee (yes, I asked how she spelled her middle name) took my vitals and continued to reassure me. I was safe.
I was then met by Erin. She was taking me for x-rays. It was at that moment that I panicked. When I was separated from Kelly, I finally fell apart. The tears poured out of my eyes and fell down my face. I didn’t feel safe once Kelly was out of my sight - that moment was fleeting.
As Erin took x-rays, she gave me words of encouragement when she gently maneuvered my leg and foot for the perfect pictures of my bones. She is an angel. A voice that offered comfort and an innate ability to make me feel protected. The way that she moved me around was so full of love and empathy and I knew yet again, I was safe.
I was wheeled back into the exam room to wait for my x-ray results. It was there that once again, I was met with Kelly’s beautiful smile. She radiates warmth. A display of perfect friendship and the love of someone who one year ago I didn't even know existed. More proof that those who were once strangers can become one of your closest friends. Kelly’s presence can make a scary moment seem like a fun adventure. I knew I was safe just because she was there. For Kelly, I am grateful.
Kelly and I waited. We laughed, we said and did inappropriate things. We agreed that my mounting pile of apologies was becoming excessive and then we laughed some more.
I was confident when the doctor came in he would be cold, brash and full of questions about my health which I wouldn’t be able to answer satisfactorily. I was so wrong.
Dr. Vanlue came in with a warm smile and a gentle spirit. He explained that my x-rays were not terrible and I was going to be just fine. Then he posed a puzzling question:
He asked if I was aware that there is a hole in my foot. I'm sure I looked at him as if he had three heads because all I could respond with was a petrified and perplexed look. I honestly thought it was a joke, but the x-rays showed differently. He then showed me a crystal clear picture of the hole; I learned that there is a hole straight through the center of my foot. Not a result of the fall but it was there. Ones natural reaction would be to panic, but Dr. V quickly assured me that nothing was broken. He then rattled off words regarding my injury, they were words that I ultimately had to look up: Severe Flexor Retinaculum sprain and a severe sprain of the high ankle as well as a mysterious hole.
He was kind, and he listened to me - actually he didn’t listen, he heard me. Such a fundamental difference between the two. Dr. V should teach bedside manner as he was reassuring, warm and above all he made me feel safe. I am grateful for Dr. V!
I was wrapped up in a support brace and told to see an orthopedic specialist for a follow-up appointment. Kelly was given a Superwoman sticker for being a great friend. I was given a Wonder Woman sticker for being a great patient and apparently the Wonder Woman stickers are reserved for only the best patients. As the doctor left the room I got one more ‘diagnosis,’ a great personality; such kind words from a doctor that had been at work all day long and just as he thought his night was ending he was met with the “Hot Mess Express” Train!
Feeling safe is so important to those of us that regularly experience scary moments. I joked that because of how kind they were I might throw myself on the ground just so I could go back and see all of them. Their kindness filled my heart - for that I am grateful.
I don’t recommend falling in the middle of the road but if you do while in Central Florida, I do recommend going to Port Orange Centra Care. The staff is superb, and they make their patients feel heard as well as safe. I have so much gratitude for the entire team.
So, today, I am grateful for muscular dystrophy (MD). Maybe I chose this disease, and perhaps this disease chose me. Regardless of how we became so intimately involved, I am grateful.
I am grateful for the slips, trips, and falls - the tragic and the graceful. Each tumble is proof that others are there to catch me in mid-flight and when I do actually hit the ground, friends and strangers are there to pick me up - literally and figuratively.
I am grateful for the scars, the cuts, and the scrapes because they are proof that I am resilient.
I am grateful for the moments that I have felt defeated and alone. I am thankful even for the moments of despair. They are proof that the bad days are not permanent. How can you know grief if you don’t know joy? How can you celebrate triumphant moments if you have never felt defeated? How would I ever see the value in companionship if I didn’t know loneliness? How would I know the value of a stranger becoming a friend?
While I could do without the stares and the backhanded comments from strangers that can’t quite figure out what is “wrong” with me, I am grateful that others are so intrigued. These moments provide an opportunity to spread awareness around the subject of MD and the need for this world to be more empathetic. Often times moments of feeling unsafe lead to an opportunity to educate others regarding the need to take a double dose of their compassion meds!
I am grateful for the days that I say “I simply can’t,” and my friends say “You can and you will. You are safe because I am next to you.” I am grateful for being loved by my best friends and by strangers. I am thankful for those that make me feel safe.
I am grateful that I fell this week. I am thankful for the moment that I was able to experience a moment that proves we can bridge gaps in humanity - the increasingly more frequent gaps between strangers. My fall provides proof that when we all come together for the well-being of another person, that is what matters. Above all, I am grateful for yet another opportunity that has shown me safety. This fall taught me a vital lesson - together we are always stronger.
